Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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