she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
