Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
