i just google imaged poop.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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