Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize