what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
They have beer where we have blood.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
