It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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