My hair reeks of homosexuality.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
