you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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