Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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