if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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