she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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