So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
