Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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