It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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