When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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