Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
