You made me cry and you don't even care
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He better not be in your backpack
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
