it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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