dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
