i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
