If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
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