All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
