If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
