bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
