Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
