i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
