Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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