i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
