everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
