All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
