it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
