We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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