You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
