I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
