i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
