Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize