This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Randomize
