Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
ttyl tear gas
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
