I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
