My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
