all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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