When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
no you cant smoke seaweed
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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