a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
