Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
