We won't sleep together?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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