Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
