How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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