I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Randomize
