no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
