Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
