My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
