Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Hippo gnu deer
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
