Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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