We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just found puke in my bra..
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You're a disaster
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