haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
