only if we run a train.
done.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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