my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
