but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
