In the future we'll all be gay
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize