I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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